Thursday, April 20, 2006

THINGS I REFUSE TO WORRY ABOUT AFTER I’M DEAD

• Why i was born
• Whether or not i led a meaningful life
• Paying bills
• April 15
• Anxiously awaiting payday
• Whether or not i lived up to everyone’s expectations
• The size and agility of my penis
• Tooth decay
• Politics
• The fate of idiotic humanity
• String theory
• Family
• Global warming
• My sister’s hysterectomy
• Mysteries of the cosmos
• Prostate cancer
• Whether or not oatmeal is really that good for you
• Icy conditions on Interstate 80
• Religious fundamentalism
• Getting laid
• The quality of the air
• Money and all its absurd ramifications
• The fate of my descendents
• Why people don’t seem to read anymore
• Bad breath
• All the things i could have done
• All the things i could have done better
• Who created cockroaches and what was the point of that
• Long airplane rides without medication
• How i’m going to pay for things
• Who i am.

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